Thursday, February 16, 2012

Lesson (re)learned

So after a few, let's say, "interesting" days, our parenting crisis, though unresolved, is pretty much over.  And, on the bonus side, I learned yet again that you cannot change how other people act, only how you react.  Folks, I am here to report that I reacted in a calm and logical manner (thanks to lessons learned in the aforementioned incident - plus a few other ones caused by having children).  Nothing has really changed, but I am satisfied that we did all we could do to ensure the safety and well-being of our child.  The other child, well, that's up to his parents.  We methodically informed any and all authorities that needed to know of the situation, starting with the parents, and left it to them to do their thing.  I'm not overly impressed with some of the responses, or lack thereof, but hey - that's life.  Besides,  I have hockey games to attend!!

Derek's team met their third loss of the season on Tuesday night in Spiritwood.  The Timberwolves are a big, fast team with a whole lot of heart.  There was some very good hockey played.  The score would have been more in our favour if our team could magically gain about thirty years' experience and learn that important lesson - that you can only control how you act in a situation (see above!).   They have only lost a total of about ten games since they began hockey, and adversity is not their strong suit. It seems as though whenever our opponents get a goal or two ahead, our players start getting down on themselves and then blaming each other.  Doesn't make for great team cohesion - while we're busy nitpicking on each other, the other team keeps scoring!  So we're down three goals when Spiritwood comes back on the 26th for the second game of this third provincial round - stay tuned!

Meanwhile, the Tigers remain unbeaten in league play and take on the Eston-Eatonia-Leader team in the first round of playoffs.  That starts tonight, but I'll have to miss due to a prior commitment. 

We are currently showing our former houseguest, the stomach flu, to the door.  It's been a rough few days for Derek and me.  Clem is on the phone buying stocks in Purel - he has used so much hand sanitizer that he's driven up the share price. 

One of our billets flew the coop last week.  I think he was homesick, and the timing was good for him to catch a ride back to Hay River.  We will miss him.  Clem even had a few tears when he put him on the bus to Edmonton.  Our Minnesota billet is sticking out the rest of the gloomy season (13 to 1 loss last night - ouch.) before heading back to Minnesota this weekend.  He is much more outgoing than our NWT friend, so I'm thinking the house will be mighty quiet next week.  Oh, wait - I forgot.  There's no school next week - some kind of break.  Not sure which, I can't seem to keep track!  But Derek will be home, keeping things hopping.

I'll be home, as well, since I finished my job at the library.  Now I can try to catch up on all of the approximately 1400 projects we've started around here.  Clem is trying to get me downstairs to clean organize throw out things so he can continue with the reno he's doing down there.   Slowly, slowly. 

We've both started walking on his new treadmill.  (That's why we need to fix up the basement - for the big screen TV needed for walking!)  It's out in the studio right now, and we load up a netflix movie and walk and watch.  Works pretty good (except for the tiny screen), and there's no ice.  And btw, he still can't catch me.

Received some photos of Brendan's little guy.  They are beautiful, as is Sawyer!, but they just make me want to go there even more. Maybe, when those 1400 projects are done.  But by then he'll be in college and won't want some doddering old aunt hanging around.

And that's about it for news around here.  Clem is waiting around for my new washer and dryer to be delivered.  Apparently we wash a lot of clothes....

Thanks for checking in!

Thursday, February 09, 2012

Parenting - twenty years in

I've been a parent for nearly twenty years (ouch - it physically hurts to say that!) and I think I've learned a few things.  I think.  One thing I have learned is that we very often have to learn things by making mistakes.  As children and as parents. My kids and I, especially, seem to possess this trait.  Sometimes no amount of instruction, lecturing, or explaining will work.  You just have to figure it out for yourself. 

Derek has been having a personality conflict with a "friend" and teammate.  They just seem to clash.  We've explained over and over to him that if he would just ignore his friend's behaviour, it would stop and/or change.  But Derek has a hard time letting things go.  He needs to see fairness and justice in all situations.  So he reacts.  Usually in a negative manner.  And then he gets in trouble.  What's a parent to do? 

Six years ago, I thought I knew what to do.  Adam was in a similar situation, with a similar personality, and with the same reactions.  So I called the other parents.  And I was honest when the mother wanted to know why the other kids didn't like hers.  Big mistake.  BIG mistake.  Plus, I learned that not only was her precious child an idiot*, so was mine.  (As you probably already know, there are always three sides to every story - yours, theirs, and the truth.  If you didn't know that, please keep it in mind if you are a parent with a precious little child.)  After a few years of politely tolerating each other (Adam and his friend, and me and the mother) things have cooled down and all is well again. (It helps that we normally travel in different circles now.)  And I learned to get all the facts before accusing anyone of anything.  Usually.  Still working on that one.  Mother bear and all that, you know. 

So here we sit, waiting for a call back from Derek's friend's dad.  Clem, to whom I sometimes refer as "Mr. Diplomat", is going to answer the phone.  Just sayin'. 

And the moral of this rambling monologue?   All I really know is that I don't know much.  That, and it really sucks that our children have to be guinea pigs as we experiment with this parenting thing. 

Thanks for stopping by!

*All children become idiots when they turn 13.  I'm not singling anyone out. I can't tell you how long it lasts, as I'm still waiting for it to end.  There are small signs of intelligence again at 19, though.  I'll keep you posted.

PS:  Any comments from that "Anonymous" person who knows everything about parenting will be deleted.  Sign your name or zip your lip quit typing!